Net calories so far today
-97
yip,
MINUS! :D
Edited: 40 net calories. Got to love the gym! :DMy week so far.
Sunday: 603 calories
Saturday: 1,138 calories
Friday: 834 calories
Thursday: 1,012calories
Wednesday: 1,263 calories
Tuesday: 737 calories
Monday: 1,174 calories
I’m seeing a pattern here. And it’s not a restrict then binge, it’s a binge so I restrict. I fucking need to stop letting myself binge after school (when it is happening, every, single, time) On the tuesday, friday, sunday I went to the gym during my binge time. I shall continue to do this! :)
All I know is that I’m going to bed hungry tonight.
And it is absolute bliss.
You dont want an eating disorder. Trust me. No matter hw much you read, no matter how many pictures you see you will never be prepared for it. And you'll never truly recovr. Youll be scarred for life and youll never see yourself in a good way even if you get super tiny
AnonymousI know. I’ve emersed myself within the ED society for close to 4 years now. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I suffer from a pathetic version of BED and minor bouts of total restriction (though this is usually due to depression). I agree with ever point that you made, and I understand them too. It’s just the mind set I’m in. It’s fucked up and pathetic, but that’s how I am at the moment, and I doubt I’ll be coming out of it soon. There are too many serious triggers around me (dying relatives etc which fuels my depression which fuels my restriction). Thank you anyway :)
it’s become so bad that even though I know how destructive and damaging eating disorders are, i still desperately want one just to gain control and to punish myself for being so disgusting. how fucked up is that?
First day of councilling
I thought it went quite well. up until the bitch went behind my back and made out that i was seriously depressed or something to my mum. That i had this huge secret that i was hiding from her. WE TALKED ABOUT ME AND MY FRIENDS! All that i said was that i was an introvert, and i belonged to a gang of misfits. That’s it. Fuck it, never going to a psychologist again.
